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You Might Be A Candidate For Acupuncture If…

You Might Be A Candidate For Acupuncture If….

I humbly offer up some acupuncture humor, using Jeff Foxworthy’s ‘You might be a redneck…’ format.

Of course I do so with respect, love and  deep compassion for all those who are suffering (and with apologies to the many hard-working MD’s who are expansive and true  healers),

You might be a candidate for acupuncture if…

You walked into your doctor’s office with low back pain, they took X-Rays and found nothing off…and he still is suggesting doing exploratory surgery…

You’re stressed out because your job’s murder, your boss doesn’t get it and the economy stinks. But the psychiatrist wants to put you on hard-core meds….

 You might be a Candidate for acupuncture if…

You have been getting migraines for years and nothing’s helped. Your doctor says he thinks electroshock therapy could be the answer…

If your job has your stomach in a knot and your doctor’s solution is to prescribe you Zantac super strength….you might be a candidate.

 You Might Be a Candidate for Acupuncture if…

You’ve put on a bunch of weight, it’s not even the holidays, and you still want to dive into some junk food.


You Might be a Candidate for Acupuncture If….

You’re experiencing panic attacks that make you feel as though your heart’s about to jump out of your chest; your doctor says it’s all in your mind.

If the IVF hasn’t taken and you’ve asked your cleaning lady for the telephone number of her boyfriend’s former sister-in-law, who is a Haitian lady born in Bayonne but with some deep voodoo skills…You Might Be a Candidate.

You Might Be a Candidate for Acupuncture if…

Your tennis elbow is killing you, and your ‘unofficial’ Vicodin sales rep has ‘left town unexpectedly’.

And finally, You might be a candidate for acupuncture if…

You’re reading this and have your own addition to  this list. In that’s the case, please write it in!

 Because a big part of healing can simply be having a good laugh (or perhaps, as in this case, just a silent chuckle).


Daniel at Blue Phoenix

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